A Year In the Life
by lituska-silvermoon
Summary: In the year between the end of the series and Endless Waltz, Zechs finds himself drifting. However one meeting will change him forever....but would it also break him? Complete..
1. Part 1

Title: A Year In the Life.  
  
Disclaimers: GW doesn't belong to me etc, etc… All lyrics used are also copyrighted to their respective owners. Only the storyline and the original character belongs to me.  
  
Author's note: I wrote this quite some time ago and it is one of my very first fan fictions, so I apologize if it is a little rough and not that very good *scuffs feet shyly*. I am putting it up at the request of some of my friends who wanted to read some of my earlier work.  
  
I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review if you feel like it ^_~  
  
***  
  
It was strange. He could hardly recognise the blue eyes that were staring back at him from the mirror. What was strange was that he had been staring into the same perfectly clear blue eyes for the past twenty years. After a few moments of gazing at his reflection, it struck him. They had lost the haunted look he had acquired over the past few years. He wondered how had he had become to be like this, so heartless, so jaded. But there were no easy answers, there never were for him. He had chosen his path in life and lived with it. He couldn't allow himself to feel regret, it would have driven him mad long ago to do so. But now however his eyes were clear, as was his conscience.  
  
Putting one hand up to stroke his cheek, he marvelled at how thin he had become. But it hadn't diminished his startling good looks one bit. If anything, it made the cheekbones on his finely featured face stand out more, framing his clear blue eyes and setting off his long white blond hair. A sapphire set in platinum. But the man once known as the Lightning Count was never vain. All he saw were dark shadows under his eyes and a haggard look to his face. But then again, he looked good for a man who had been left floating in space. He surely would have died if it hadn't been picked up by a passing space junk cruiser. Even then he had hovered between life and death for another week before finally emerging from his coma. After nursing him back to health, the people on the ship left him relatively alone, something for which he was extremely grateful. It was as if they sensed that he wanted to be alone, that he didn't want to talk.  
  
Or perhaps they realised that they had just saved Milliardo Peacecraft, leader of the rebel group White Fang, the man who had masterminded the destruction of earth. Perhaps in their hearts they just wanted to let him die, to pay for the lives that had been lost because he insisted on a war. But in the end they just let him live, maybe because they sensed that there was some good in him that he would be of more use alive. They had then taken him back to earth, smuggling him past immigration. The leaders of the ship were a married couple who had accompanied him to the train station. When he opened his mouth to thank them, the lady whose wide grey eyes were sad with all the death she had seen in her life shook her head, stopping the words at his lips. She kissed him on the cheek while at the same time pressed some money into his hand. She then grabbed her husband's hand and they both disappeared into the crowd.  
  
Shaking his head as if to clear the memories Zechs grabbed his light fawn coat and made his way outside. It was spring and the trees were just beginning to burst into leaf. Their smattering of light green contrasted sharply with the clear blue sky. Taking a deep breath inhaling the sweet perfume of grass and flowers that tainted the wind, for the first time in a long while Zechs felt lucky to be alive. He felt free, that he was no longer carrying the baggage of either Milliardo Peacecraft or Zechs Merquise. To the world they were both dead, and with that he could live again. When he first came back to earth, his first thought was to get back into space as soon as possible. Money wasn't an issue. Before he had joined up with White Fang, he had set up an untraceable bank account in the name of Meriz Quechse, an anagram of Zechs Merquise. In it he had accumulated a small fortune, some left over from Sanc Kingdom as well as what White Fang had paid him.  
  
No it wasn't money. It was just the longer he spent on earth, the more reluctant he felt to leave. Perhaps he was a son of the earth after all, born and bred. It was as if the earth had forgotten what he had tried to do to it, like a mother would forgive a child that threw a violent tantrum at her. They had reconciled and the earth bore him no malice. So armed with his fortune he decided to travel the world. He was still only twenty yet what he had gone through made him feel much older and it showed. It showed in the way that he carried himself, with a natural confidence that had made him a prime soldier and a great leader.  
  
But today he was neither. Today he was going to do something extremely mundane. He was going to have a hair cut. One of the most basic things in the world, but to him it felt alien. But it made him feel normal, something he now realised he wanted extremely badly. He was in Spain, welcoming the warm sunshine on his shoulders after experiencing the chilliness of both Germany and Russia. He had been to Barcelona until on a whim he decided to rent a car and drive through the countryside. That was how he came to be here. In the small town of San Tibaldo searching for a barber.  
  
He had contemplated doing it himself, but he knew he would just look like a lawnmower driven by a blind man had attacked him. In a town so small he had no trouble finding a barber. Actually it was more like a hairdressers. Perhaps the men in town thought it was extravagant to let someone else cut their hair he thought. Pushing open the door, the light tinkling of a bell heralded his arrival and a silvery laugh greeted him.  
  
'Amanda you should really not let him do that to you,' the girl who had laughed admonished her friend sitting in one of the battered chairs. The other girl looked ruefully up at her.  
  
'I know but..' the one called Amanda stopped mid-sentence noticing Zechs's presence, 'you have a customer dear.'  
  
'Sorry, have you been waiting long?' the other girl asked in perfect accentless English.  
  
'No I'm sorry for having interrupted your conversation,' Zechs the ever- perfect gentlemen answered. Actually it had given him time to observe the both of them. Amanda was pretty with sandy blond hair and deep brown eyes but the other girl was extremely beautiful. Tall and slender with black hair that fell down her back like a waterfall and deep, gold flecked emerald green eyes.  
  
'I've come for a haircut, do you do men?' he asked.  
  
'Yes but not very often,' she extended he hand towards him, 'my name is Dominique Destine and I own this shop.' He accepted it and shook her hand warmly.  
  
'Call me Dante. I'm staying at..'  
  
'The main hotel in high street, I know,' Dominique smiled at his startled expression, 'this is a small town, talk spreads fast when a stranger arrives.'  
  
'Oh I see,' Zechs returned her smile with one of his own, 'I should have guessed as much. Well were do you want me Dominique?'  
  
'Anywhere,' she motioned to the empty chairs before her, 'and call me Monique most people do.'  
  
Sitting down in the centre chair Zechs leaned his slender frame back letting Monique wrap a protective navy apron around. As her fingers brushed his hair, she hoped he couldn't feel her tremble. When Jane who worked at the hotel had come for her haircut, she hadn't wasted time dishing all the dirt on the new arrival. She went on and on about how handsome he was or how charming he was. How he always said hello to her if he passed her by. Monique had taken all this in with a pinch of salt, knowing how notorious Jane was for exaggerating the truth. But this time for once Jane had been right. The stranger who called himself Dante was more than just good looking, he was exceptionally handsome. He had a presence that made Monique instantly run a hand through her hair and straighten her skirt.  
  
Brushing his hair with a soft bristled brush she asked him.  
  
'So what do you want done Dante?'  
  
At this Zechs frowned, his first instinct was to lop it all off, knowing that his long platinum hair made him stand out. But he was still hesitant, the hair was both of what made Milliardo and Zechs and a part of him was still reluctant to let that go just yet.  
  
'Just a trim, about an inch to neaten it up,' he finally answered. Taking a pair of stainless steel scissors, Monique measured an inch of hair with her fingers. Biting her lip in concentration she set to work. Monique was always meticulous about her work, but she even more so now. She cut his hair so carefully it was as if she wanted to make sure not one hair was unevenly cut from the rest. When it came to his fringe, she had to move closer. So close she could smell his cologne mixed in with the scent of the hotel soap. For one moment she had the most inexplicable urge to bury her nose in his hair and sample deeply his unique perfume.  
  
Blushing furiously at the thought, she let go of his hair and said the first thing that came to mind.  
  
'You have lovely hair,' she said stuttering slightly. He turned so his face was inches from hers.  
  
'Thank you,' he said quietly looking straight at her.  
  
The door then clanged open rudely breaking the spell. Monique stood up and came face to face with a tall handsome youth. Well at least he would have been not for the ugly frown that marred his features or the dark look in his cognac coloured eyes.  
  
'Stephen, what are you doing here?' Monique asked. As if to answer he held up a bulging shopping bag. 'My shampoo! Stephen you are a darling. Put it in the back and I will pay you when I am finished with my customer.'  
  
Not saying a word he obeyed her, but not before shooting Zechs a suspicious glance. Speeding up her motions, Monique was done with Zechs five minutes later, giving him a final brush to shake out any loose hairs.  
  
'You are fantastic Monique, how much?' Zechs complimented her running a hand through his hair. 'I try,' she answered giving him a cheerful grin, 'about paying, don't worry about it. To tell you the truth I would feel guilty taking your money, it was barely anything. Think of it as my way of saying welcome to San Tibaldo.' Zechs looked taken aback.  
  
'I couldn't possible do that. It wouldn't be fair and I would feel terrible, please let me pay.'  
  
'No Dante, please accept it with my compliments,' Monique replied.  
  
'Well at least then let me take you out to dinner, it's the least I could do.' It was then Monique's turn to be taken aback, but thankfully her brain took over.  
  
'Sure,' she answered.  
  
'Alright then see you in the lobby of my hotel at eight?' Zechs slung his coat over his arm. Monique nodded as he gave her one last dazzling smile and stepped out. The minute he was out of earshot, Amanda grabbed Monique's arm.  
  
'I cant believe you just did that!' she squealed.  
  
'I cant believe it either,' Stephen echoed Amanda's sentence, but his tone was less than welcoming.  
  
'I was being polite Stephen,' Monique answered.  
  
'Polite? Are you mad? What do you know about this man? He could be a serial killer for all you know?' Stephen argued.  
  
'Are you saying I should lock myself up,' Monique felt irritation rise in her, as often it did when she and Stephen argued, 'we are not children any more Stephen, you cant control my life as much as you like to.'  
  
Monique suddenly clutched her chest as a sharp pain pierced her sternum. The expression of anger in Stephen's eyes immediately changed to one of concern and he reached for her. But she pushed his hand away as she took deep breaths until the pain dissipated.  
  
'I'm fine,' Monique said before either of them could say a word, 'Amanda I'm going to lie down. If anyone comes in call me. I'm going to get some rest, I have a date tonight.'  
  
With that she strode out of the room her head held high leaving Amanda looking concerned and leaving Stephen looking black as thunder.  
  
*  
  
'So you are extending your stay Dante?' Monique asked sipping her wine. Zechs nodded his head.  
  
'I like it here, I think I'll go looking for a place tomorrow,' he answered before taking a sip from his own glass.  
  
'Well the only real estate place in town is Mr Peters. Let me warn you though, he will be anxious to unload this hideous house in the hills on you. Keep shaking your head until you find something you like, don't let him persuade you to take something you hate just because to him it's a good deal.'  
  
'I think you'll find I'm not an easy guy to persuade Monique,' Zechs's blue eyes twinkled at her, 'but thanks for the advice.'  
  
Not for the first time that night Monique was glad that she had chosen to wear her clingy, strapless black dress. When she had first bought it she wondered when on earth was she going to wear it in a small town like this, but from the way Dante's eyes looked her up and down, it was worth every penny.  
  
Zechs looked gorgeous in a pair of dark blue trousers matched with a tailored white Oxford cloth shirt. The colours really set off his eyes and platinum hair that was neatly tied back at the nape of his neck. He insisted she chose the restaurant and so she had chosen Al Duca one of her favourites. It was only when they had arrived that she had remembered that it was also the most expensive restaurant in the whole town. When she had suggested they go elsewhere, Dante had simply laughed and said it was all right.  
  
After dinner he insisted on walking her home. Although her home was actually only fifteen minutes from the restaurant, she took the long route hoping to prolong the evening just a little bit longer. Zechs found her sweet, confident with a sharp sense of humour. Monique on the other hand found that the man who called himself Dante was more charming on the inside than he was on the outside. With him she found she could truly hold a meaningful conversation. Not like with Stephen whose mood swings often brought her headaches. All to soon however they arrived at her door causing her to look up at him with regret.  
  
'Thanks for dinner, you really didn't have to you know,' Monique rummaged around in her purse for her keys.  
  
'I wanted to, believe that,' Zechs reached for her free hand and brought it to his lips, 'you were enchanting company and a great hairstylist,' he gave her a rakish smile that made her weak at the knees.  
  
'Yeah,' she answered her tongue suddenly tied. In her heels she was exactly his height and in the moonlight he looked handsomer than ever. For a moment he looked like he wanted to kiss her and she wanted him to, more than anything. But a nagging voice in her head told her that that would have been pushing it. So instead she leaned over and planted a friendly kiss on her cheek.  
  
'Goodnight,' she said softly.  
  
'Goodnight,' he echoed before turning around to leave. Monique just stood there watching him leave. When he was finally gone, she sighed and looked upwards at the stars. Strangely enough to her they weren't twinkling white, but twinkling blue.  
  
*  
  
A week later Monique met Stephen coming down one of San Tibaldo's many hills as she was coming up. She looked extremely pretty in her floaty turquoise summer dress, black espadrilles and black straw hat. A fact that didn't go unnoticed by Stephen.  
  
'Hello Stephen lovely day isn't it?' Monique smiled at him as she swung her basket back and forth.  
  
'You are going to see him aren't you,' Stephen said accusingly causing the smile to disappear from Monique's face.  
  
'So what if I am Stephen, it's none of your business.'  
  
'It is my business when some mysterious stranger tries to steal my girl!' Stephen's voice just got louder and louder and Monique just got more and more irritated.  
  
'I'm not your girl Stephen, I never was,' she hurtled the sentence at him.  
  
'I have loved you since we were children, I have waited for you all this time and now some stranger with a flimsy background shows up and you cant wait to get into his pants fast enough.'  
  
She didn't know she had actually slapped him until she felt her hand sting and the bright red mark on his cheek. She was so consumed with rage she was actually trembling. Stephen looked at her a mixture of anger and sadness in his cognac eyes.  
  
'Your in love with him aren't you,' Stephen said bitterly.  
  
'You know me Stephen, I'm not in the position to love anybody,' Monique said her voice hollow.  
  
'I will take care of you,' his voice took on a pleading quality now.  
  
'I don't want you to take care of me, I just want you to leave me alone,' she said harshly. Her words made something inside Stephen snap.  
  
'Fine,' he said his eyes flashing, 'don't come running to me when pretty boy breaks your heart.' He spun on his heel and marched down the hill. The throbbing in Monique's temples grew more prominent causing her to frantically rub them in order to make it go away. When it finally stopped, Monique composed herself and made her way to Zechs's house.  
  
After much negotiation he had managed to find a house that both pleased him and suited his needs. It was a small bungalow on top of a hill with a small garden behind it. Monique had helped him moved in and often went to visit him on her days off. They had become friends of sorts but while he knew almost everything about her, she still knew almost nothing about him. With Stephen's words still ringing in her ears, she vowed to change that today.  
  
'Hello,' Zechs said answering the door.  
  
'Hi,' Monique held up her basket, 'I brought you some things to plant in your garden.'  
  
'Thanks,' he said taking the basket and letting her in. When his back was turned Monique bit her lip. He didn't sound at all like the Dante she knew, his voice was monotonous and he looked almost menacing.  
  
'Are you eating properly,' Monique asked casually.  
  
'I am a big boy Monique I can take care if myself,' he said sarcastically. Monique was startled; he had never spoken to her like that before. An awkwardness hung in the air, which made Monique wring her hands, frantically looking around for something to say. Her eye fell on the newspaper and she gave a sigh of relief.  
  
'Don't you think its wonderful now, what this Relena Darlian is doing to establish peace by banning weapons.'  
  
Zechs stiffened at the sound of his sister's name.  
  
'Its false peace,' he spat out.  
  
'What did you say?' Monique couldn't believe her ears, 'what do you mean false?'  
  
'This peace wont last, as long as humanity exists, there will always exist the will to fight. Sometime I think its part of human nature,' Zechs from his desk looked over his shoulder at them, 'I sometimes think it's a part of me to. I often miss the thrill of the fight.'  
  
'Are you saying you like war Dante? I can't believe you would say something like that?' Monique could hardly believe that man she had grown to care for was speaking like this.  
  
'War has its place, it cleanses the earth from all its evil, it makes humanity evolve,' the look in his eyes now were pure Zechs Merquise, the soldier part of him was speaking now.  
  
'War is nothing but a game that is played by powerful people. What about what war causes, hatred, distrust, death. Do you think that is worth the price.'  
  
'People will always die,' Zechs said callously.  
  
'I lost me brother in the war, he died fighting for a cause that was as empty as it was useless. His death proves nothing.'  
  
Zechs laughed, a cruel laugh that made her shiver, 'what a naïve thought, but then you were never in front line battle then were you?'  
  
'I had no choice, I had to protect my family. But I lived my life in fear, in helplessness and in the end I lost my parents regardless. I was left alone,' Monique's voice was salty with tears, but Zechs was unmoved.  
  
'You are afraid of dying,' he said quietly, 'then you should never been born. Leave little girl, go be happy in your ignorance.'  
  
Monique was at first to shocked to move. But as the shock wore off, rage rose within her like a tidal wave. Grabbing her bag she slammed the door behind her and made her way down. She made it halfway before her tears blurred her vision. She pulled aside and slumped on a stone bench, sobbing as if her heart would break.  
  
Zechs sighed. He didn't mean to be so cruel on her. But he wasn't blind, he could see how much she had begun to care for him and he couldn't allow it. He wouldn't allow another person to get close to him; they would just end up getting hurt. It was better this way, he convinced himself, besides his words had been half-true anyway.  
  
Then why was it there was a pain in his heart that wouldn't go away?  
  
  
  
***  
  
Months passed and life went on for the inhabitants in San Tibaldo. Well at least for everyone except Monique that is. Even now Zechs's cruel words rang in her ears, causing her insides to contract with pain. However on the outside she kept up façade cheerfulness convincing everybody that nothing had changed. It was so convincing that she almost ended up convincing herself.  
  
Almost being the operative word.  
  
However her mask always slipped a bit when she caught sight f Zechs or rather Dante wondering about town. As mad as she was at him, her heart still ached to be with him. Stephen had been right, she was in love with him. But luckily for her he didn't stay in San Tibaldo all the time. He often left for weeks, even months at a stretch, but he always returned. If they happen to pass by each other, they kept it civil to the point of being cold.  
  
One day she was walking back having just finished serving a client that lived out of town. Monique rarely made house calls but Mrs Fields was an old friend of her parents and had helped a great deal when they had been alive. It was the least Monique could do for her, besides she liked spending time with the charming old lady. But there had been one awkward moment when Mrs Fields had asked her, jokingly of course, whether she was in love. She had asked, she said, because Monique acted like she was. It had caught Monique of guard but thankfully Mrs Fields had tactfully changed the subject.  
  
Monique sighed; it was if she was cursed. The minute she thought she could forget about him, something brought him charging back into her mind. She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice it had started to rain.  
  
'Shit!' she swore. As usual she had forgotten to bring her umbrella and her house was still a good ten-minute walk away. Glancing around furtively she looked for some shelter only to find none. She had been walking along a partially deserted stretch of road, flanked by flat fields on either side. She quickened her pace and resigned herself to getting soaked when a car pulled up next to her. Without thinking she yanked the door open.  
  
'Oh thank you, you have no..' her words froze as a pair of azure eyes looked up at her. Instantly her expression changed, her mouth setting itself into a thin line.  
  
'Never mind, I'll walk.' Zechs grabbed her hand to stop her from leaving. 'Don't be stupid, you'll catch your death of cold walking in this downpour,' he said irritatedly, 'don't cut off your nose to spite your face Monique.'  
  
'I'd rather drown than get a lift from you,' Monique tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he had an extremely strong hold on her. Zechs gave a half smile that made her weak at the knees despite herself.  
  
'Now you're just being foolish,' with one yank he pulled her in the car and swiftly locked the doors.  
  
'Hey!' Monique said indignantly, 'let me out! I demand you to.. Atchoo!' she sneezed violently. When she opened her eyes, a pristine white handkerchief lay on her lap.  
  
'We'll dry you off first and then I'll take you home, alright?' Zechs said never taking his eyes of the road.  
  
'Fine,' Monique said sullenly.  
  
Once they had arrived at his place, he threw her a thick white terry cloth towel from his linen cupboard. He had thrown it with such force that it almost beheaded her, but she was grateful nonetheless. She didn't show it though, striding almost haughtily into his bathroom. The towel was warm and felt great against her chilled skin. Burying her nose deep in the soft, slightly scratchy fabric she inhaled the pleasant scent of lemongrass.  
  
After she made herself look more presentable and less like a drowned rat, she then strode into the living room while at the same time vigorously towel drying her hair. There she found Zechs calmly reading the paper while in front of him on the table sat two steaming mugs.  
  
'Help yourself to coffee if you want,' Zechs said never raising his head from what he was reading. Monique glared at him but grabbed a cup anyway. She sipped it gingerly at first, but as soon as she realised it tasted ok she drank deeply, relishing the feeling of the warm fluid coursing through her body. The silence between them was deafening.  
  
'You know you cant not talk to me forever,' Zechs lowered his paper to look at her.  
  
'I have nothing to say to you,' Monique said stiffly, wishing that in her heart he wasn't so handsome.  
  
'Is this how you treat everyone that disagrees with you?' Zechs said calmly causing Monique to look at him in disbelief.  
  
'You did more than just disagree with me, you shot me down. You didn't even listen to what I had to say,' Monique almost slammed the coffee cup down on the table. A smile tugged at the corners of Zechs's lips.  
  
'I had no idea my opinion mean that much to you,' he teased, but when he saw the look on her face he quickly became serious, 'I am sorry I hurt your feelings, but I've always been a person with strong if not controversial opinions. But then I have probably seen more of the world and the evils in that than you have. However I also hold a strong view on fairness. Your opinion is yours alone and you are perfectly entitled to have one.'  
  
Zechs left the chair he had been sitting on and came right beside Monique.  
  
'If everyone had the same opinion the world would be an extremely boring place,' without thinking he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ears.  
  
'You didn't have to be so nasty about it,' Monique tried with all her might to keep her voice from trembling. Zechs shut his eyes briefly.  
  
'I'm sorry, I'm not the best guy for tact,' opening his eyes he looked at her long and hard, 'but like I said before why does my opinion matter that much to you.'  
  
Monique took a deep breath.  
  
'Because I like you,' she said shyly.  
  
Zechs jerked his head back.  
  
'What did you say?' Monique turned so that her lips were just inches from his.  
  
'I said, I like you, a lot,' she admitted almost breathlessly. She instinctively reached for him and pressed her lips to his as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Zechs was, at first to stunned to do anything but as a realisation began to dawn on him, he returned her kiss with a passion he never knew he had in him.  
  
However he soon pulled away, an action which caused Monique to blush to the roots of her hair.  
  
'I'm sorry,' she stammered, ' I didn't know what I was thinking..'  
  
Mercifully she was spared any more babbling by Zechs placing a finger on her lips, a serene look in his eyes.  
  
'Never be sorry for anything that your heart tell you to do,' he gave her a rakish smile, 'actually I was suggesting we should go somewhere more comfortable and…. talk some more.'  
  
Monique flashed him a mischievous smile in return.  
  
'I'd like that,' she reached up and gently stroked the side of his face, 'I'd like that a great deal.'  
  
*  
  
'Tell me something..'  
  
Zechs looked down at the girl lying on his chest. The heavy rain had slowed down to a drizzle now that made a soothing sound as it fell on the rooftop. Both of them were lying on his bed, comfortable in each other's presence.  
  
'What?' he asked his voice normal, but with a thin edge of wariness that Monique didn't fail to detect.  
  
'Dante, you don't need to answer anything I ask you. I understand that there are something's that you want to keep hidden. I know that one day, when you're ready you will tell me,' Monique traced a figure of eight on his bare chest, 'Just promise that you'll never lie to me, please..'  
  
'Alright, I promise,' Zechs kissed her soft hair.  
  
'When was the first time you were ever in love?' Monique asked. Zechs stayed quiet thinking, lightly running his fingertip up and down her arm.  
  
'Her name was Desdemona or Jessica as everyone called her. But I insisted on calling her Demona, it suited her,' he lightly shrugged his shoulders, 'she was beautiful, and smart.'  
  
'What happened to her?' Monique asked, hoping he would say she had moved to the Antarctic or something like that. Zechs smiled as if reading her mind.  
  
'She didn't love me, when I left, she was trying to decide between a long haired preacher boy or a handsome loner with emerald green eyes.'  
  
'I'm sorry,' Monique said.  
  
'No you're not,' Zechs said shrewdly causing Monique to quickly change the subject.  
  
'Alright then, tell me the first time you were loved.'  
  
'I was sixteen, seventeen maybe. We both went to the same school. She adored me, swore she would never leave my side,' Zechs without thinking hugged Monique closer, 'I cared for her, but I could never really love her. She loved me with an intensity that awed me. However her love was so unconditional that I would have ended up hurting her once she realised I could never be the man that she had dreamed off.'  
  
He spoke with such tenderness it made her heartache, but Monique still had one more question to ask.  
  
'When were you both?' Instead of answering, he took her chin in his hand and tipped her face upwards.  
  
'Right now,' he then proceeded to kiss her. A long lingering kiss that made her forget everything. Everything that is except him and her.  
  
***  
  
'A circus?! You must be out of your mind,' Zechs folded his arms as he looked at her.  
  
'Oh c'mon it's going to be fun,' she tugged at the ends of his shirt and gave him an imploring smile.  
  
'That's not going to work Monique, no matter how much you give me that look,' Zechs said determinedly.  
  
'Please Dante, nothing exciting ever happens here and they don't come that often,' Monique twisted her pretty features into a pout, 'if you don't I'll ask Stephen to take me.'  
  
'I hope you two have a great time then,' Zechs said flatly.  
  
'Dante!'  
  
'You should know by now that emotional blackmail doesn't work on me Dominique.'  
  
His tone of voice caused Monique to stop her act and put her hands on her hips.  
  
'Please Dante,' she asked in her normal voice, no more whining, no more cajoling. That was one of the things Zechs really loved about her, her no nonsense attitude, but at times still playful. It reminded Zechs that he should really lighten up. Besides there was something about the way she stood like that that made his breath catch his throat.  
  
'Ok then since you asked so nicely, but,' he said admonishingly, 'there's now way I'm buying you cotton candy.'  
  
'Ok,' Monique answered crossing her fingers behind her back, a satisfied smile on her face.  
  
*  
  
Later, Zechs was surprised to find himself enjoying the show. As a soldier in training, he was so hell bent on his revenge, that he had spent all his extra time sharpening his skills while others were out enjoying themselves. Sitting with Monique, Zechs felt a peace, that no amount of fighting or killing had been able to give him.  
  
The show consisted of the usual fare presented by a circus. While waiting for the acts to change, clowns came out to amuse the audience, with their acrobatic moves and tumbling. One in particular caught Zechs's eye. Unlike the other clowns he wasn't smiling. Wearing a mask that concealed half his face, the broad smile painted on it contrasted sharply with the handsome boy's almost sullen expression.  
  
However it soon became clear that among all of them, he was the most talented. Stretched from one end of the tent to the other was a tight rope wire that had subsequently been lowered after the trapeze artist's number. Carefully balancing himself in the middle of the wire, the clown then launched himself off with one mighty leap, which made the crowd gasp. While in mid-air he executed a perfect double corkscrew twist before landing on his feet like a cat.  
  
Monique clapped along with the audience in appreciation of the boy's daring and agility. But suddenly she felt Zechs stiffen. Turning her attention towards him, she noticed him biting his lower lip, a tell tale sign of anxiety.  
  
'Are you alright Dante?' she asked concerned, 'you look like you've seen a ghost.'  
  
'You could say that,' he grimaced; however he was quick to reassure her.  
  
'Its all right, don't worry about it. Just enjoy the rest of the show,' he said with some relief as the clowns exited the ring.  
  
'Ok then,' Monique dropped the subject and returned her attention to the performers as Zechs draped an arm around her waist.  
  
*  
  
At first he wondered if he was mistaken. But then the boy who called himself Trowa Barton rarely ever made mistakes. Calm, cool and collected, Trowa wasn't in the habit of making rash decisions. This was partly why he had been such a good Gundam pilot. His level head and the sense when to mind his own business kept him alive and out of trouble.  
  
Like the other pilots, everything Trowa did was close perfect. Perfection came to him as easily as breathing. That was why he knew he couldn't be wrong. The long platinum hair, although tied back and under a cap, was instantly recognisable. Even if he had been incorrect, there was no mistaking the features, blue eyes and a face that was almost too handsome, too perfect. Those would be the two words that would always spring to mind every time Trowa came face to face with him. Too perfect. Too perfect a soldier, a leader, a pilot.  
  
'Zechs Merquise, well well well,' Trowa took of his mask and brushed back his long fringe of brown hair, 'talk about dead man walking.'  
  
*  
  
'Shall I get the car Dante?' Monique asked. Zechs nodded his head, and gave himself a small smile as he looked with obvious pleasure at his girlfriend. It was this same sense of pleasure that had made them late in the first place. As a consequence all the parking spaces close to the tent had been taken, and so they were forced to leave their car a good trek away. However as distracted as he was, the sound of a familiar voice coming from behind him didn't startle him. Zechs would never be a man who startled easily.  
  
' I must say this is an unexpected surprise,' Trowa, who had by now changed out of his circus clothes and into jeans and a jumper emerged like a phantom from the shadow of the tent, 'in all the circus's in all the towns, in all the world, I'd never thought you'd walk into mine.'  
  
At the sound of this familiar quote, Zechs turned to face Trowa with an amused expression on his face.  
  
'I can see you've been watching TV since the war ended.' Trowa shrugged non- comittantly.  
  
'Catherine, my adopted sister has a penchant for old movies,' Trowa's face suddenly hardened, 'the whole world thinks your dead.'  
  
'I prefer it that way,' Zechs said quietly.  
  
'I can see that,' Trowa said in a tone of voice that was at the same time knowing yet unemotional, 'she is beautiful.'  
  
'She is more than that Trowa,' Zechs took his cap off and turned it over and over in his hands, 'it is Trowa isn't it? Trowa Barton.'  
  
Trowa nodded his head.  
  
'I assume then that Demona is with Duo now,' Zechs said trying to keep his voice flat.  
  
'They are happy together. She never loved me, you know. Its always been Duo, she just couldn't see it,' Trowa said.  
  
'We could never make her laugh, could we?' Zechs said ruefully.  
  
Again Trowa nodded, an action which caused Zechs to look at him quizzically.  
  
'You don't say much, do you?'  
  
'People who know me know that I am never the talkative type. Sometimes life gets so cluttered with meaningless chatter that people forget that how beautiful silence sounds. However don't try to change the subject,' Trowa walked slowly towards him, 'I must admit I am surprised that you haven't revealed yourself. I am sure Miss Relena and Miss Noin would love to know what happened to you.'  
  
'Sometimes Trowa, you just want to forget what you've been, who you used to be,' Zechs said.  
  
'I understand what you say, but that raises yet another question,' Trowa looked at Zechs through his thick fringe, 'if not yourself, who would you be?'  
  
'I am still trying to figure that out,' Zechs admitted, 'so are you going to turn me in?'  
  
'Why should I? You would have done it yourself by now if you had wanted to. Its not my place to preach,' said Trowa.  
  
'Thank you,' Zechs said gratefully, 'tell me, I know how Relena's been doing. She's in the public eye so much that it has been relatively easy to keep tabs on her. Also I take comfort in knowing that Heero is always there keeping a watchful eye on her. But I haven't been able to see how Noin's been doing. Do you know of anything?'  
  
'As far as I know, she is fine. She was pretty cut up after what happened with you and Epyon but she is coping,' Trowa observed Zechs's reaction to his next words, 'she and Wu Fei are dating now.'  
  
'Pilot 05,' Zechs said in disbelief, 'I would have never…'  
  
'Believe me when I say, all of us would have never guessed it would happen,' Trowa shrugged, 'however, Wu Fei does have this uncanny knack of being extremely endearing at times. She is happy, and I am sure you'll agree with me when I say that is all that matters,' Trowa raised an eyebrow at him quizzically, 'am I right?'  
  
Zechs hesitated a spilt second before answering.  
  
'Yes.'  
  
Whether or not Trowa noticed it would never be known as it was at that moment, Monique pulled up in Zechs's rented car.  
  
'Sorry I was so long,' she said breathlessly, 'I got a little lost.'  
  
'That's alright,' Zechs replied getting in on the passenger side, 'take care Trowa.'  
  
'Same to you,' Trowa replied.  
  
As they pulled away, Zechs shot Trowa one last parting glance in the rear- view mirror. Trowa didn't move a muscle, standing still as a statue watching them leave. In the silvery moonlight, he looked almost ghostlike. Zechs sighed.  
  
'A ghost from my past all right,' Zechs thought.  
  
'Who was that Dante?' Monique asked with a hint of curiosity.  
  
'An old acquaintance,' Zechs hesitated for a split second before taking the plunge, 'I was a soldier in the war Monique and he was a comrade.'  
  
Monique nodded her head, she had guessed as much. 'Did he bring back bad memories?' she asked. Zechs just smiled sadly.  
  
'No…. just, memories,' he said. The look in his eyes was so sad that Monique just wanted to stop the car and pull him close to her. Instead she planted a kiss on his cheek and tucked a silvery strand of hair behind his ear.  
  
'I'll always be here for you,' she said softly.  
  
'Thank you,' Zechs answered touched, before returning her kiss.  
  
He couldn't have known how those words would come back one day to haunt him. 


	2. Part 2

It was autumn. The leaves had all but lost their green colouring and were instead shades of tortoiseshell. Yellow, red, orange, all breaking free from their branches at the slightest breath of wind. Sand Tibaldo was even more beautiful at this time of year. But Monique was blind to all this. Eyes cast downwards, she walked slowly back to her shop, her mind a kaleidoscope of thoughts and feelings. She and Dante had all but moved in, they had been living in and out of each other's pocket so much. So far he had talked to her about his family, giving no names but events, that provided insight into the kind of person he was now. Even so, in some parts he was still a deep dark mystery. Monique in all honesty didn't mind, at this point she was so much in love with him, everything else didn't matter. The gossip about them, Stephen's curt manner towards her. But this she couldn't ignore, try as she might, the words still echoed in her head.  
  
Nothing they could do….  
  
It was unfortunate..  
  
Insufficient time…  
  
Sorry…  
  
They had meant to be consoling, but to Monique the words were just cold comfort. She was at a loss of what to do. She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she almost ran straight into Stephen, who was at the same time coming out of her salon.  
  
'Monique I've been looking all over for you,' Stephen said grabbing her arm, his eyes flashing with a mixture of excitement and anger.  
  
'What is it Stephen?' Monique asked still to dazed to realise that this was the first time Stephen had really spoken to her in months.  
  
'Not here,' Stephen glanced furtively from side to side. Not letting go of her arm, Stephen dragged Monique inside and sat her down hard on one of her salon chairs.  
  
'I found out who pretty boy really is,' he said darkly.  
  
'Pretty boy?' Monique echoed still not completely aware of what Stephen was saying.  
  
'Your Dante,' Stephen declared impatiently. He was to caught up in what he was about to say to notice Monique's uncharacteristic nonchalance.  
  
'Dante isn't his real name. He is actually Milliardo Peacecraft aka Zechs Merquise,' Stephen thrust a computer printout in front of her, 'Milliardo Peacecraft was once the goodwill ambassador of the now fallen Sanc Kingdom, who later became the leader of the colony rebel group White Fang, who had plans to take over earth. As Zechs Merquise he wasn't any better, nicknamed the Lightning Count, he was Oz's top soldier. His talent was unparalleled and his instincts ruthless when it came to battle.'  
  
Stephen grimaced as he finished his monologue, 'Your "boyfriend" is a war criminal Monique. Didn't I tell you he was bad news from the start.'  
  
Monique looked down at the piece of paper she was holding in disbelief. The image was grainy but there was no mistaking the long platinum blond hair or the perfect features. The picture next to it showed a man with a helmet but with the same blond hair. It was Dante all right.  
  
Monique exhaled slowly as she leaned back on the chair. At first she didn't know what to feel. Anger? Betrayal? However as her mind began to clear, she realised that none of those feelings were rushing to the surface. Instead all she felt was sadness, and hope.  
  
'You're a fool Stephen,' Monique said quietly, crumpling the piece of paper into a ball, 'I don't care who he was..'  
  
Stephen could hardly believe his ears.  
  
'Are you mad? Has he bewitched you to the point that you can't see reason? This man is a killer,' Stephen said taking her by the shoulders and roughly shaking her.  
  
'How do you know that? You don't know him like I do,' Monique released herself from his grip, 'Stephen don't you see? You love people, you love the person, not qualities or faults.'  
  
Monique looked up at him, her eyes full of sadness.  
  
'I love him Stephen. I love the person he is and the person he was. I know he isn't as bad as you say, because my heart would never let me love a man like that.'  
  
Monique sighed and walked away, running her hands through her hair over and over again. Something Stephen knew she only did when she was nervous.  
  
'Monique, something else is wrong isn't it? Not just this,' Stephen said. Monique closed her eyes.  
  
'Stephen I know I haven't been the best friend to you over the past months, but I'm asking for your help,' Monique suddenly laughed, a humourless laugh, 'in fact you have helped me a great deal already.  
  
Stephen took her hand in his and gently rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.  
  
'You know I'd do anything for you,' he said, the adoration in his voice so apparent, it made her throat tighten.  
  
Monique took a deep breath.  
  
'Then listen up, because what I've got to say is important…'  
  
*  
  
Something wasn't right; he could almost smell it.  
  
Zechs had blessed with an almost eerily accurate sense of perception which came in handy in the battlefield. In fact if he had been born differently, it would have been called women's intuition. Walking into his house, the feeling just got stronger. The minute he saw Monique sitting in the dark, he knew he was in trouble.  
  
'What's wrong?' he asked. Instead of answering, Monique just looked down at the coffee table. Following her eyes, Zechs felt his heart sink. On the table was a full colour printout of a headline from one of the world's most prominent newspapers that stated in bold letters:  
  
White Fang leader Milliardo Peacecraft declares war!  
  
Under the headline, clear for the entire world to see, was a picture of him.  
  
'When were you going to tell me Milliardo Peacecraft,' Monique's voice was cold, 'or shall I say Zechs Merquise, which is another alias you use frequently don't you?'  
  
'I meant to tell you…' Zechs started but a look from Monique stopped him.  
  
'When? When you left?' Monique shouted, throwing a nearby lamp to the floor, 'you didn't trust me..'  
  
'Trust has never come easily to me alright?' Zechs shot back, beginning to get angry himself, 'all my life, everything, everyone I've trusted almost always disappoints me.'  
  
'If we don't have trust, we don't have anything,' Monique hissed, 'Stephen was right about you all along.'  
  
Monique grabbed her coat and started to storm out, but Zechs's words stopped her at the door.  
  
'You want to know why I didn't tell you?' Zechs clenched and unclenched his hands in order to keep control of his emotions, 'it's because all my life, people have always expected things of me. As Milliardo, my father expected me to advocate peace. As Zechs, I was expected to uphold Oz's principles. When Epyon blew up, I thought this was my one chance not to be either.'  
  
Zechs closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.  
  
'I wanted you to love me as me. Not clouded by some preconception. I thought you could see past that,' he glanced disappointed over his shoulder at her still figure, 'I guess I was wrong.'  
  
Fighting back tears, Monique hardened her heart.  
  
'Goodbye Dante.'  
  
Slamming the door behind her, she rushed towards Stephen's waiting cars. Thankfully for her it was a straight path as she was almost blinded by her tears. Sinking into the front seat, Monique showed her true feelings as she sobbed.  
  
'It's for the best,' Stephen said quietly.  
  
'Then why does it hurt so much?' she whispered.  
  
Stephen had no answer for that. He just started the engine and drove away.  
  
***  
  
Time is relative. Time is also a paradox. Time, as we know it is set. Yet for a man on death row an hour seems like a minute but for man waiting for his lover, an hour can seem like an eternity. So it was for Zechs, that the past two months felt like two years.  
  
The day after their fight, Zechs knew it was time to leave. The only thing that had been holding him here was Monique, and now that she was gone, he had no reason to stay. Since most of the stuff he had been using was rented, it was relatively easy to pack up, and he left San Tibaldo before the week was out. Since then he had tried to keep busy. Checking up on Relena, as well as keeping his piloting skills sharp using a flight simulator which he had installed in his new house.  
  
Still he couldn't stop thinking about her. It was irritating to him at times how the smallest things reminded him of her. Zechs wasn't the sentimental type and so hated this strain of weakness in him. Yet in spite of all that, he still loved her. But her words had wounded his pride deeply and so he became intent on erasing her from his mind.  
  
'Easier said than done,' he thought ruefully. However one day he found himself driving through familiar territory. His first thought was to drive straight through San Tibaldo, but the red blinking light on his dashboard warned him otherwise.  
  
'Besides,' he thought to himself, 'what's the chances that she will be hanging around the gas station.'  
  
He was still a good twenty minutes from the gas station however, so he popped a random tape into the tape player, hoping the music would distract him. At first he didn't pay much attention to the soft melody emanating from his speakers, but as the artist began to sing, Zechs perked up his ears and turned up the volume.  
  
Nigirishimeta te wo hodoita nara  
  
Tabun kore de subete ga ima owatte shimau  
  
The voice was sweet enough, but it was the words that struck a familiar chord in him. Frowning, he riffled through his memory banks, trying to remember where he had heard those words before. Then it struck him. One night, when both of them couldn't sleep, Monique told him that the one thing she always wanted to be, was a singer. And it was this song that she had sung to him. Although his Japanese was a little rusty, Zechs remembered how poignant the lyrics were.  
  
Sayonara  
  
Aishiteru anata wo dare yori  
  
Sora yori mo fukaku  
  
Nakanaide  
  
Mata aou ne  
  
Demo aenai koto watashi dake shitte iru no  
  
'What was it again?' his brow furrowed trying to remember, 'not being able to see you is only something I know?' He sighed heavily, 'this is not helping!' he thought as he ejected the tape with a jerk.  
  
Pulling up to the gas station, he swiped his credit card through the machine and fiddled with the pump while he waited for it to clear. As his eyes scanned the station, he was more than a little disappointed to find no one around; save for the owner, reading the daily paper with his feet propped up against the cashier.  
  
'Stop dreaming Zechs,' he chided himself, 'you knew it couldn't have worked out.' Yet even to him, the words sounded hollow. She was the first woman he had ever really loved, and who had loved him in return. She had been the first person who refused to let him wallow in his past and self-pity. Unlike the others, she didn't let him have his way all the time, she spoke her mind and stood up to him, which had made him love her even more. Noin, even Jess had treated him like he was made of glass while White Fang, the Sanc Kingdom and even Oz eventually bent to his wishes. She hadn't, she never let him, but instead loved him as an equal. However this just made her betrayal twice as painful to bear.  
  
'But that was life,' he reasoned. However this explanation brought him no comfort whatsoever.  
  
Tearing the printed receipt from the machine, Zechs was about to get back into the car, when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar figure walking towards him.  
  
'Stephen!' he thought irritatedly, 'I better get out of here before that Neanderthal decks me.' Alas even one of the world's most perfect soldiers was no match for gravity, and with three long strides, Stephen appeared beside Zechs's door.  
  
'Zechs Merquise, I'd never thought I would see you again,' he said.  
  
'I had to stop for gas, I'll be on my way now,' Zechs said coldly.  
  
'Yet you are here,' Stephen said, an odd expression on his face, 'can we talk? Over coffee?'  
  
I'm in a hurry..' Zechs started but Stephen cut him off.  
  
'Look, I hated you when you were here. Now I'm pleading with you to talk with me. Don't tell me you're not curious.'  
  
The bastard had hit the nail right on the head. Zechs was curious why a man who had so openly despised him, suddenly wanted to chat.  
  
'Alright,' he said unlocking the doors, 'get in.'  
  
*  
  
Stephen was nervous. Zechs could tell that from the way he kept flicking the sugar packet against his hand. Zechs took a slow sip of his coffee as he waited for Stephen to speak.  
  
'I would never dream a soldier for Oz would order a hazelnut latte,' Stephen smirked.  
  
'If your just going to waste my time..' Zechs said stiffly.  
  
'I'm sorry,' Stephen said hurriedly, 'its not easy for me to say this.'  
  
'Just say it,' Zechs said. Stephen took a deep breath. 'It's about Monique.'  
  
'I guessed as much,' Zechs placed his cup on the table, 'go on..'  
  
'She wasn't completely honest with you,' Stephen toyed with the spoon in his cup, 'what she didn't tell you was, that she's dying.'  
  
'What?!' Zechs almost tipped over his cup, 'you're lying.'  
  
'I'm not,' Stephen said, 'when Monique was younger, she was found to have one of the milder forms of leukaemia. It was treated successfully but since then she has always been weak and prone to infections. About a year ago, she was infected by a rare strain of virus that was similar in symptoms to Tuberculosis. It was kept under control by medication, but about 2 months ago, they told her; it had spread to her lungs. They give her until the end of the year at the most.'  
  
Stephen paused for breath, his cognac coloured eyes mirroring the pain he felt.  
  
'She didn't want to die on you, so she decided that this was the best way to let you go. But since you left … I've never seen her like this. It's as if she's lost somewhere and I cant reach her. I hate to say this, but she loves you so much that she would rather put herself through this so that you would get over her faster.'  
  
Zechs was stunned. At first he was relieved to find out she really did love him, but as the words sank in, he realised the true implications of what Stephen was telling him.  
  
'Why are you telling me this?'  
  
Stephen looked at him and gave him a sad smile.  
  
'Because I love her,' he said simply, ' I'd rather have her a little while longer together with you, than to lose her when she's like this.'  
  
'Where is she?' Zechs grabbed his keys.  
  
'Christiensen Specialist Hospital,' Stephen answered.  
  
'Thank you,' Zechs said as he stood up to leave, but he paused at the door, 'you know, she's lucky to have someone like you.'  
  
'Don't flatter me, now go,' Stephen. Zechs didn't need to be told twice and swept out the door in a rush.  
  
'I'm sorry I broke my promise to you Dominique,' Stephen thought to himself, 'but I know it's the right thing to do.'  
  
*  
  
'I'm sorry visiting hours are over,' the young nurse said firmly, causing Zechs to run his hand through his hair in frustration.  
  
'Look, I've told you. This is important, she is very ill and I haven't seen her in months. You've got to let me see her,' Zechs said.  
  
'Come back in the morning,' the nurse looked down at the computer screen in front of her, 'it says here that she is stable and in no great danger. You can see her in the morning.'  
  
The nurse narrowed her eyes at him.  
  
'If you love her like you say, why were you away from her for so long?'  
  
'Because she loves me,' Zechs answered with such honesty in his voice that the young nurse's resolve faltered.  
  
'Oh, you are going to get me into such trouble,' she muttered, to Zechs's delight. 'Ok, but be quiet,' she slipped him a pass from under the table.  
  
'Thank you,' he said gratefully and impulsively leaned over to give a kiss on the cheek that made her blush. Grabbing the pass, he sped down the corridor, but not before throwing her another traffic stopping smile.  
  
'Whoever she is, she is really lucky,' the nurse sighed.  
  
Elsewhere, an older, more senior nurse was shaking her head at Monique.  
  
'Most people would be happy to be getting out of here, you on the other hand makes it sound as if we are going to send you to live in the gutter.'  
  
Monique shrugged her slim shoulders. She had lost so much weight; she looked as if a gust of wind would blow her away.  
  
'What's the use? I'm just going to end up back here anyway,' she said, causing Julia, her nurse to narrow her eyes at her.  
  
'That's defeatist talk, haven't you ever heard of hope.'  
  
'Oh I've heard of it,' Monique said flatly, 'I just don't have any.'  
  
She turned her head towards Julia, 'leave me Jules, I just want to be alone.'  
  
'Keep this up and you will be, forever Miss Destine,' shaking her head again, Julia closed the door behind her with a soft click. Monique sighed. If this was her way of cheering her up, then Julia was sadly mistaken. Monique had already lost one of the most important things in her life to her and it seemed as if nothing would make it right. At the sound of the door opening again, Monique began to feel irritated.  
  
'I said leave me alone,' she snapped.  
  
'Well usually I would, but I am sure you'd want to reconsider this time,' a familiar husky voice said, that caused Monique to shoot up in bed.  
  
'Dante?' she said, not being able to stop a tiny tremor of happiness from entering her voice. But as soon as she remembered whom she was speaking to, her voice hardened.  
  
'Or should I say Zechs,' she said. Zechs shook his head.  
  
'Don't,' he began, pulling up a chair next to her bed, 'don't play games with me Monique. You don't have to anymore.'  
  
'What do you mean games?' Monique said, still trying to bluff her way out. Instead of answering, Zechs just took her hand in his and traced the sensitive cup of her palm with him thumb. His gentle touch, so familiar made Monique shiver.  
  
'Stephen told me,' Zechs said finally.  
  
'That bastard, he promised me he wouldn't,' Monique said weakly.  
  
'I'm glad he did,' Zechs placed his cheek against her hand, 'do you know how much I've missed over the past few months?'  
  
It was his touch that was her undoing. The minute he did, it dawned on her how truly lost she had been without him. He had been her anchor, and him gone it was as if she was adrift at sea. She fell into his arms, tears falling onto the starched white bedspread, causing little circles to form. Zechs stroked her hair and then cupped her chin and tilted her heads upwards. He lightly brushed her lips with his, and when she didn't protest, he leaned down and kissed her. A long lingering kiss. When it was over, Monique placed her head on her his shoulder and grabbed a handful of his warm, clean shirt.  
  
'I've missed you to,' she admitted causing him to pull her closer, like he would never let her go.  
  
'I love you,' he said softly, 'I never really knew what those words meant, but I do now.'  
  
'I love you to Dante, or should I say Zechs,' she corrected himself.  
  
'Call me whatever feels comfortable,' Zechs said, 'Dante or Zechs, I am still the same person. At one point in time I wore a mask because I felt that Zechs and Milliardo were different people, but now I realise that both were two similar to be called separate entities.'  
  
'Well Dante or Zechs, you're still the person I fell for,' easing herself gently from his grasp, Monique turned to look out the window, 'that is why I did what I did you know.'  
  
'I still don't understand,' Zechs said. Monique smiled to herself.  
  
'You once said to me, that everything you ever truly loved died,' Monique turned back to him, her green eyes filled with tears, 'I wanted to be the exception Dante, I really did.' Zechs gently wiped away her tears with his finger.  
  
'I would rather have you for the short time allowed than to have never met you,' Zechs smiled, 'for I am the richer for having loved you.'  
  
'You were like an ever-changing wind. Possessing a will and a mind of its own, not answering to anyone,' she gave him a slight smile, 'you blew into my life and turned it upside down. You made me feel so alive. For that I will always be grateful, for I have never been as happy as I was this past year.'  
  
'I'm not letting you give up so easily,' he said determinedly, 'I never quit as a soldier and I am certainly not going to let you do it.'  
  
Monique looked at him as if he had faintly lost his mind.  
  
'The doctors said..'  
  
'I know what the doctors said,' Zechs hugged her again, 'Monique I know what's going to happen. But I am not going to let you go, not just yet.  
  
'Zechs..' Monique said softly, the name familiar yet alien to her lips.  
  
'You said you wanted to sing,' he said. Monique smiled ruefully.  
  
'Yeah, but I don't see it happening now.'  
  
'I'll make it happen,' Zechs said.  
  
'Promise,' Monique tilted her head to one side as if appraising him.  
  
'Trust me, I will make it happen,' Zechs promised. 


	3. Part 3

He was true to his word. Two weeks later he found himself in the lounge of one of the fanciest hotels in Barcelona, sipping a vodka martini waiting for the show to start. Dressed in a grey lounge suit, he drew many admiring glances from both men and women. However he only had eyes for the stage and the person who was about to be on it. The bandleader stepped up to the mike and after tapping it to make sure it was on spoke.  
  
'I would like all of you to give a warm welcome to our new leading lady. She has just started singing professionally and has been all over the country. Please put your hands together for Miss Dominique Destine!'  
  
As she stepped out of the shadows, Zechs felt his breath catch his throat. For although he had seen her perform before, her beauty and presence never ceased to enchant him. The audience obviously felt the same as they lapsed into murmurs of admiration. She had opted to wear a black, halter neck dress made out of a material that shimmered whenever it touched the light. She had also lost her gaunt look and gained back her previous curves. Hair curled, pulled up along with just a touch of makeup made her look amazing. But it was the sparkle in her eye, which almost matched the sparkle of her dress that gave her her look of confidence.  
  
'Thank you,' she said her voice husky yet soft, 'I would like to with an old favourite and I hope you all will enjoy it.'  
  
Looking straight at Zechs, Monique stepped up to the mike and started to sing.  
  
'I love you, for sentimental reasons..'  
  
Zechs felt his heart swell with pride at the sound of her melodious voice. He wished he could have done more than just singing in small clubs, but he knew that with her condition, this had proved to be the most practical option. He already had many offers from record companies that wanted to bank on not just her above average singing skills but her looks as well. However mindful of her situation, he had turned them down. But it wasn't just that, it was as if a part of him liked it this way. This way is was definitely more intimate and up close, he knew, was the best way to market Monique's unique appeal.  
  
When it came time for the last number, a part of Monique felt relieved. As much as she enjoyed performing, lately she found herself tiring more easily, a fact she kept well hidden from Zechs.  
  
'I'd like to dedicate the next song to the main presence in my life,' Monique said quietly, 'I just hope he realises how much he means to me.'  
  
'I'm gonna love you, like nobody's loved you…'  
  
'Come rain, or come shine..'  
  
Zechs smiled contentedly to himself  
  
'I hope you know to, how much you mean to me, Dominique Destine,' he thought.  
  
After she finished, she bowed out and made her way to the backstage area. Zechs on the other hand didn't move a muscle. He just continued sipping his drink knowing that a call for an encore would lead her back to the stage. But after a few minutes of calling and clapping, nothing happened. Zechs felt fear take the shape of a cold hand that squeezed his heart, making it difficult for him to breathe. In three long strides he was at the door that lead to the backstage area, but as he reached for the doorknob, it disappeared under his fingers. This caused him to come face to face with the makeup girl whose eyes were wide with anxiety.  
  
'Miss Destine, she..'  
  
Zechs didn't need to hear anymore as he roughly pushed her aside. He let out a sharp cry as he saw the woman he loved huddled in a heap on the floor.  
  
'Monique!' he said cradling her in his arms. He checked for a pulse and found it erratic.  
  
'Call for an ambulance,' he gave a sharp order that made the girl nod her head and leave.  
  
'Monique,' he said softly brushing his lips against the soft skin of her forehead, 'hold on, please.'  
  
He felt his tears fall, wetting her cheek.  
  
*  
  
Later at the hospital, Monique lay sleeping on the bed while Zechs sat on the chair that was in the corner of her room. He was leaning forward, his head resting on his hands that were clasped as if in prayer. The only sound to be heard, was the steady beep of the monitors. It seemed so unreal, he thought, looking at her dress that was now hanging in the closet. Just a few hours ago, she had been so vibrant and full of life singing her heart out on a stage and now, she lay hovering between life and death. Pulling the chair closer, Zechs slowly took her hand in his as if she was as delicate as spun sugar.  
  
'Don't stay if you cant, even for me,' he spoke barely above a whisper, 'I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave you, I promise.'  
  
He never let go of her hand, even as he fell asleep.  
  
Around dawn, Monique began to stir. Opening her eyes, the first thing she saw was Zechs fast asleep on her lap. She smiled fondly at him, and lifted her hand to stroke his platinum hair although it took all her energy to do so. Zechs woke up in a flash and caressed the side of her face.  
  
'Monique..' he said her name tenderly.  
  
'Not like this Zechs,' she whispered, 'I don't want to go like this.'  
  
'Don't talk,' he said but she placed a finger on his lips.  
  
'Don't tell me what to do,' she teased, but her face then became serious, 'take me where I was happiest.'  
  
Zechs swallowed hard.  
  
'Alright, I'll see what I can do.' He kissed her hand and then left. Through the door she could hear him talking to a nurse.  
  
'Who do I see about getting her discharged.'  
  
'Discharged? Sir, she is very ill..'  
  
'I know what she is, just take me to whoever is in charge…'  
  
As the sound of footsteps began to fade a reassured Monique fell back asleep, a contented expression on her face.  
  
**  
  
She had often said to him that her happiest memories had been from when she had stayed at the cabin, high in the mountains above San Tibaldo. The cabin had been left to her by her late uncle and she often went up there to get away from things and think. This past summer, she had taken Zechs to see it and they ended up spending almost a whole month there. Although both of them had spent a considerable amount of time hiking, they had spent an equal amount of time in the bedroom as well. Zechs's favourite memory was of them making love beneath a crystal clear waterfall.  
  
It was late by the time he had transported her up there, but at least they had managed to watch the sun set together. After he had made them dinner, they both curled up on the padded deckchair on the porch, with a thick woollen blanket thrown over the both of them. They kissed occasionally, but most of the time, they just lay still in each other's arms.  
  
'Look at how beautiful the stars are,' Monique said, 'you've been up to space right Zechs? Tell me about it. What is it like up there?'  
  
'Its quiet,' Zechs answered placing his chin on the top of her head, 'that is the thing you first thing that strikes you about space. It's so quiet. It almost makes you want to scream just to hear the sound of your own voice.'  
  
Zechs kept on talking while Monique lay in his arms listening. After a while, Zechs felt as if something wasn't right, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Then it dawned on him, it was to quiet. No wind rustled through the trees, no owl hooted. Even the crickets had ceased to play their song. Without sound to keep it at bay, the darkness began to encroach.  
  
'Whoever's listening out there,' Zechs thought, 'I know I have to let her go. But please, just let me have her a little while longer.' He took a deep breath and continued his monologue.  
  
'The stars are so beautiful Monique,' he continued stroking her hair, 'Sometimes I wonder that is why space exists. As a canvas to display stars which are so much like diamonds. Their beauty is so overwhelming that only in space you can appreciate them. Have them to close and they lose their mystery. That is why we can never own the stars as much as we try. We can just admire them from afar, and then let them go.'  
  
Zechs kept on talking, even as the light burnt low and as the surroundings began to get colder. He kept on talking in a desperate effort to ban the darkness.  
  
**  
  
A few days later, Zechs found himself standing beside a plot of freshly turned earth, capped by a granite slab. The day was grey; a sure sign that winter was fast approaching. The only spots of colour were the bunches of flowers dotted around the grave. Roses, carnations and lilies to name but a few. Dressed in a black suit with his hair loose about his ears, Zechs looked almost beautiful. But the sadness in his eyes was almost too painful for anyone to bear looking at him for to long. Stooping down, he traced out Monique's name that had been engraved in elaborate script on the headstone, the polished granite cold to the touch. A tear glittered in the corner of his eye, but he roughly wiped away. He still hated enduring any kind of weakness, so he would grieve for her his own way. But he still loved her and that he realised was one weakness he wouldn't mind living with all his life. Standing up to leave, he kissed his fingertips and then touched the headstone.  
  
'Goodbye my love, dream of me as I will dream of you' he said, his voice holding only the faintest hint of sadness and regret 'I'll see you again, someday.'  
  
Leaning down again, Zechs picked a daisy that had been growing wild untouched by the digging. Carefully he tucked it into his suit pocket and with one last look turned to leave. And he never looked back.  
  
***  
  
Walking through town a couple weeks later, the whole world was starting to gear up to enjoy Christmas. The brightly coloured fairy light and wreaths of holly added a touch of whimsy to an otherwise dark day. Zechs didn't pay much attention to it. He never had any time to celebrate Christmas and now with Monique gone, he definitely didn't feel like celebrating.  
  
'Is this how it feels,' he thought, 'to truly lose your purpose in life.'  
  
Looking ahead, he saw a huge crowd of people huddled in front of the window of a well-known store. His curiosity piqued, he nudged his way through to see what all the fuss was about. The window consisted only of TV's from top to bottom, all showing the same picture. A young red-headed girl, dressed like a girl scout, with a purple feather sticking out of her beret was talking, her face serious. Zechs frowned, her features and the way she moved seemed eerily familiar to him.  
  
'I wish someone would turn up the volume,' he thought. As if reading his mind, suddenly the speakers lit up and her high, clear voice filled the chilly air.  
  
'My name is Mariemaia Khushrenada, daughter of Treize Khusrenada. I am carrying out the will of my father and hence declared war on the Earth Sphere Unified Nation.'  
  
'Of course, she reminds me of Treize,' Zechs thought to himself, 'war huh? I guess I should have expected as much from Treize's offspring.'  
  
Pushing his way out of the crowd Zechs sped to his hotel.  
  
'I must stop this,' the soldier in him thought. He suddenly felt his vigour for life renewed. Monique had given him back his humanity, something which he didn't know he had lost. Now he knew had to find some way of redeeming himself and this was his chance. He knew in his heart that she would have wanted him to.  
  
'But how,' he pondered. Turning his head, his eye fell on the headline of today's newspaper.  
  
'Of course the Preventers.' He paid for the newspaper and scanned the article until he found what he was looking for.  
  
'Boy will she be surprised,' he chuckled to himself.  
  
*  
  
It was after nine PM and all the offices in the tall glass tower were dark, bar one. The lighted office was in fact the main headquarters of the Preventers. In it, the head of the Preventers, the once feared Lady Une slammed down the phone with a hint of her former ferocity.  
  
'I could make excuses all day,' she said herself in a low voice, 'but the question is whether or not we can deal with their aggression without some help.'  
  
'Excuse me,' a husky voice interrupted her train of thought.  
  
'Who is it?' she asked her voice suspicious, but as the person stepped out of the shadows her eyes widened, 'why you're….'  
  
'I've come to ask for a codename. If you don't mind, I'd like the name Wind,' Zechs smiled to himself, 'appropriate for one who puts out fires…'  
  
~Owari~  
  
End note: My story of what I think might have happened to Zechs during the year he dissapeared, conceived in my mind. The story picks up in Endless Waltz, when Zechs offers his services to Lady Une. 


End file.
